Last of the throwback posts (for now), this was a poem written at Drexel way back in 1991. They offered me a scholarship for it, which seems silly because it looks awful to me now. At this point I was starting to realize I could exchange writing for goods and services. Enjoy.

What I Don’t Like About The Love Boat

Isaac is always behind the bar
It’s called, “The Love Boat,”
But he never strays too far.
He doesn’t have time for love.

Doc. Bricker gets to dine at the Captain’s table.
Isaac has to work at the Pirate’s Cove all night.
Doc is a womanizer who never gets labeled.
You never see Isaac and Doc hanging together.

Isaac makes award-winning Piña Coladas.
He serves them in strange-looking glasses.
He watches guests get drunk and do a 1980’s Lambada.
Isaac is always behind the bar.

Isaac only gets let out for the two-hour shows.
Even then he never does much.
I’m surprised Captain Stubing doesn’t make him row.
At least then he wouldn’t be trapped.

Isaac is always behind the bar.
I wish I could set him free.
My only comfort: knowing Gopher isn’t far.
He’ll lift his spirits, if only for a while.

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